A Missionary’s Perspective: Persevering in a Foreign Land

After being on the field over 9 years, culture shock doesn’t induce the same anxiety as it used to. For example, when I hear random people shouting on the street, I’m not filled with fear that they’re yelling at me, but instead able to understand that they are just eagerly greeting their neighbor. Now, however, there are times of culture stress. Just like living with a chronic illness that ebbs and flows with the changes in weather or one’s physical exertion, culture stress heightens over the holidays or in moments that something otherwise easy in our home culture takes a full day to do here. We’ve learned a few ways to help deal with these moments and help us stay mentally present even when it’s hard to survive much less thrive in a foreign land.

What’s important to you?

I remember going to a three-month training before coming to the field for our first two year assignment, and a couple who were our colleagues bringing decorations for their temporary space—even curtains and family pictures! I secretly judged how flippant they were in their packing, but about a month into training when I visited their make-shift home, the warm colors, and reminders of people they loved felt like a warm hug in comparison to our cold, white-tiled living space. Value what is important to you whether it’s decorations, a specific food, or a specific brand of clothing. These are simple things that could help you to remember that you belong where you are and aren’t forgotten by those who stay behind in the States. These simple pleasures are less indulgences and more tools to stay on the field. Now, we ask for the “fancy mac’n cheese” as our daughter calls it, and our colleagues ask for Reynold’s wrap and French’s mustard when people come to visit. No one judges because we understand.

All cultures have positive and negative points.

Ethnocentrism creeps in like an unwanted visitor. It can be really tempting to criticize your host country’s medical system, educational standards, or moral norms. It’s easy for us to judge a system that requires us to live life differently than what we’re used to, but that just breeds resentment and entitlement. Conversely, it can also be easy to slip into conversation with non-Americans about the flaws in politics, expense of higher education, or the gaps in health care. You will be doing yourself a favor to not dwell on the negative aspects of any one culture but to look to and magnify the good that comes out of that culture. That will grow your compassion for the people and the willingness to even endure seemingly endless bureaucracy.

Remember why you love the people.

Ultimately, we love the people because they are made in God’s image and are worthy of our love and any effort we make to share the Gospel with them. However, in moments of particular angst, this answer seems cliché and a more practical one might be more helpful. Taking a walk in the community and observing the beauty of architecture, nature, or the stereotypical demeanors of your people group helps to re-center and remind you that not everything is negative or frustrating! Following the advice of Paul to think about “whatever is true whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy” (Phil. 4:8) brings us back to the ultimate Good and breathes fresh air in our sails.

Remember the Gospel.

“We don’t want to just make good friends here.” I remember a colleague saying that one time. They have since adopted Portuguese citizenship and have an incredibly deep relationship with the local church. He wasn’t saying that he didn’t want friends. He was saying that if that is all that happens, it’s not worth it. In remembering the Gospel, we remember the greatest need of mankind. It gives new purpose and meaning to simple greetings at the door of our kids’ schools, or unbearable winters, or missing out on life events among friends and family in America.

Step away.

This past fall, we took a trip to the States. We carted our 4 kids through a total of 4 airports each way; endured RSV, ear infection, and pink eye during our visit; and spent a small fortune to make the trip happen. My sister had gotten married since we’d last seen her, we have two expecting sisters-in-laws and aging family that hadn’t been able to squeeze us in over a year and a half. We returned more tired than we left with mountains of chores to do and 4 little hearts to regulate back to our Portuguese normal. Why did we go? Because striking the balance between staying well and remaining connected to the US is complicated and we’re learning what it takes to stay the course well and serve faithfully. Ultimately, stepping away for a short season can give perspective and encouragement and energy to return with renewed focus. Step away when you need to with confidence that the good work that God has begun through and in you will be brought to completion regardless of where you find yourself for a couple weeks.

I don’t know how long we will be on the field. From the beginning of our time overseas, we have held our plans lightly and we still speak in terms of seasons and unknowns. So, while we are here and invited into this great privilege of sharing the Gospel with people we love, we seek to persevere in obedience to what we have been called to.