Discipleship

7 Practical Tips for Women’s Discipleship

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In Titus 2 and 2 Timothy 2:2, it seems like there is an expectation that you should be investing in younger women with an implied directive that older women should be investing in you. We often hear people talk about these verses and suggest that you should have a Paul-someone who invests in you, a Timothy- someone you invest in, and a Barnabas- someone who walks beside you for encouragement.

Most of us know that we should be “making disciples,” but what does that actually look like? How do you start a mentor relationship? How do you find a Paul, Timothy, and Barnabas? Let’s consider 7 practical suggestions for pursuing discipleship relationships.

1. Pray about it.

This seems so elementary, but often we don’t start here. We begin by looking around, feeling guilty, and becoming desperate. We talk to others but don’t talk to God. As we look to build discipleship relationships, God will provide them. We simply must ask Him for wisdom and guidance and be patient to watch Him work.

2. Look to those already in your circle.

Often the Lord is already working to bring you near to the people you can have these types of relationships with, so look around. If discipleship is life lived together, look at who is already doing that with you. There’s no need to search far and wide for someone when it will be much easier to sustain a relationship with someone who’s already a part of the rhythms of your life. For example, who in your small group at church could the Lord be leading you to? Is there someone with kids your age? Is there someone who lives near you that you always see out walking? Relating long-term can often be easier with the people already near you.

3. Start with a small commitment.

Sometimes I’ve been known to get excited about the possibility of a new relationship and commit to weekly get-togethers with an endless time frame before we’ve spent any time together. There have been times when that has been great and times when it hasn’t worked out so well.

I’ve learned to start with something small, like going to coffee together. This way we can both get a feel for the relationship and see if we click. It takes a lot of pressure off. You can always set a regular time to get together if your time goes well, and if it doesn’t, you’ve gotten to know a sister in Christ a little better. Win-win.

4. Try to figure out a time and place that works for you both.

Not rocket science, you might say. Clearly, you need to find a time in your schedules when you’re both available…but it’s more than that. Are you both young moms? Meet at one of your homes or a playground where it’s easier to have a conversation. Are you both very busy?  Meet less often-like twice a month.

The goal is to find a schedule and place that works for you both, so you’re not stressed about it or feeling guilty that you’re having to cancel all the time. It’s also helpful to set a time limit for when you will finish your meeting. This helps you both stay focused and not wander too far off topic.

As a note about the place you get together: if possible, I think there is something to meeting in homes. Often it causes the meeting to have a more genuine feel and helps you get into real life more quickly. You can observe each other in a more relaxed environment and learn life wisdom as you watch each other interact with kids, family, etc.

5. Have a plan.

So what should you do in your time together? There should be time for talking about the Bible/doing Bible study, praying for each other, working together on Scripture memory, and discussing life. Having accountability for your spiritual disciplines is a great use of your time, but so is sharing practical wisdom and godly counsel. Walking together through hard things and supporting each other is often the most valuable part of the relationship.

6. You may need more than one mentor.

Sometimes we put too much pressure on one person to be our mentor. We want them to be great in every area of life before we approach them about investing in us. Often, it’s helpful to glean wisdom from different ladies who are strong in different areas. For example, you may admire the way one lady invests in her children and another lady may have a vibrant prayer life.  Learn from each lady what they’re great at so that your spiritual growth doesn’t reflect the deficiencies of any one person.

7. Share wisely.

While the goal is to have close relationships with ladies who invest in you, it is still wise to think about what you’re sharing. If you serve in ministry or as a ministry spouse, remember that whatever you discuss will usually at least be shared with that person’s spouse or closest friend. Sometimes it is helpful to find someone outside your local body you can talk with, so that you can be more open, especially about issues within the church.

Some of the most meaningful relationships for me personally have been with ladies who have walked one step ahead or one step behind me in their spiritual lives. I have learned so much from older, wiser saints and been blessed to walk with young and teachable sisters. The Lord has orchestrated these relationships throughout my adult life, and I am so thankful to Him for them. What is your next step in letting the Lord lead you into a discipleship relationship? Why don’t you start by asking Him?

  • Discipleship
  • Women
Candi Powers

Candi is a pastor’s wife, former nurse, seminary graduate, and proud mom to three kids. She currently serves at Southeastern as the Women's Life Coordinator. She enjoys equipping women to engage their minds on the truth of Scripture in genuine, enjoyable and practical ways. In her spare time, she enjoys Oklahoma football, traveling, and puzzles.

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