The Discipline of Listening in Evangelism

From a very young age, I was trained to share the gospel as if I were a salesperson. I was told I had a very limited time to get the gospel message across, so I had to perfect my five-minute pitch! There are literally billions of lost people on the planet as we speak, so time is of the essence.

My first experiences learning about mission work and evangelism were rooted in the ideas of urgency and effectiveness. But as I started to really share the gospel with people, the actual experience felt quite different from all my “practice.” The hypothetical people I imagined sharing with were suddenly very real to me. Somehow, talking at someone for two whole minutes felt somewhat flat.

So lately, I’ve begun asking a very difficult and complex question: when do I speak, and when do I listen?

We live in a world where everyone and everything is vying for your attention. Your phone demands it, companies want you to buy something, and your work expects you to give all your effort. Yet all these attempts to capture people’s attention are one-way and transactional.

Our evangelism efforts should not feel like just another empty attempt to grab someone’s attention. Instead, what would it look like if we listened more than we spoke? In a world that often feels like a cacophony of shouting voices and opinions, wouldn’t it be refreshing to meet someone who truly listens before speaking? Would the love of Christ not be more clearly revealed if we took the time to ask questions in order to truly see someone?

But what if I really do only have five minutes with someone? Isn’t it more important that I get all the pivotal points of the gospel across? It absolutely is vital to share the message of the gospel, but monologuing at someone is not always the best method of delivery. I know that my opinion about something has rarely been changed by someone just talking at me instead of with me.

I believe it is possible to present the truth of the gospel in five minutes while also listening and making a person feel seen. One of the most effective ways I learned this lesson was by trying to share the gospel in another culture. How do I share God’s love and mercy when I am stripped of my ability to use words? I did not have the bandwidth to present the gospel in the ways I was taught.

In the lesson of when to talk versus when to listen, having a restricted vocabulary really teaches one the patience of listening. It taught me the difference between listening for show and listening to truly understand. When faced with a serious language barrier, I had to be very intentional about how I shared the good news.

Faced with a limited vocabulary, I began to ask: what really is the true message of the gospel? Can the truth of God be conveyed in one or two sentences? Not only can it, but I often think that is the best option. My words are not the ones convincing a person to come to Christ; it is the words of the Spirit that move a soul.

Taking time to listen to the people I am sharing with also gives me space to allow the Holy Spirit to work through me. Evangelism is not done in my own power but in the power of the Spirit. Listening allows me to open myself up to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It humbles me to acknowledge my own limitations and to rely on the One who truly changes hearts. The silence of listening makes room for God’s wisdom and love to guide my conversations.

Being a good listener is also essential to the task of contextualizing the gospel. The message of Christ is for everyone; it contains the truth that all need to hear. Since this is such vital news, it is important for us to communicate it in a way that everyone can understand. The message of the gospel is broadly good news, but it is also good news for the specific troubles and darkness in people’s lives.

When we ask someone questions about their life and their views, we gain an inside glimpse into how God’s mercy is personally good news for them. Part of the beauty of the gospel is its ability to show us the deep and personal love that God has for individuals. By listening to someone’s story and their thoughts, we can better see how the gospel can penetrate their lives intimately.

Jesus did not just go around healing people or sharing the gospel with a wide, distant sweep of his hand. We see that Jesus deeply valued individuals and their uniqueness. He listened to people and spent time with them. He made sure that the people he shared the gospel with felt seen and loved. Even in the instances where his interactions are brief, he still prioritizes making people feel seen.

When Jesus shares the gospel, there is conversation. Both Nicodemus and the woman at the well have questions for him. He doesn’t just monologue at them—he answers their questions through dialogue instead. He listens to the concerns they have so that he can meet them with the truth they need to hear. He shares the gospel with them in ways that personally speak to their struggles and desperation. The love of Christ for his people is revealed in his ability to listen and respond directly to their needs.

In addition to seeing Jesus demonstrate evangelism by listening and then responding, the Bible also teaches us how God listens. Psalm 116 says, “I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.” God demonstrates that one of the most powerful ways he shows his love for us is by listening. He desires a relationship with us and therefore wants to hear what we have to say. The rest of the world has gods who do not communicate—but our God not only speaks, he truly listens.

Listening may sound like an easy task, but often it is one of the hardest things we have to do. Hearing someone share the darkest and most sinful parts of their life can be difficult. Having someone defend their reckless and hurtful actions can be devastating. It is frustrating to know that you hold the medicine a person needs and that all they need to do is surrender. However, responding too quickly or without thought is a sure way to break a person’s trust. Listening awakens our compassion and often leads us into more fruitful conversations.

The flip side of “when to speak and when to listen” is knowing when it is important to actually speak up. Sharing the gospel with someone requires verbalization. The point of listening is not to do nothing—we listen so that we can respond appropriately. We listen in order to understand how the love of Christ is specifically good news to those we are sharing with.

While some of us have a tendency to speak too much, other times I fear we sit in silence when our voices are needed. Actions, while powerful, can only go so far. God’s truth is powerful and healing, and we are called to speak it boldly.

This balance of when to speak and when to listen is tricky, but I believe it is crucial to consider. Listening is one of the quickest ways to show someone that you care about them, and we should care deeply for the people we are proclaiming to. We share the gospel to give lost souls the opportunity for a relationship with our perfect and heavenly Father. This begins with showing that we care enough about people to listen to them—whether the interaction lasts for years or only for minutes.