Singleness During the Season of Christmas: Intentionally Engaging Others

This is a follow-up post to an earlier post about families engaging singles during the Christmas season.
Be sure to check that out here.

The holidays usually mean a myriad of emotions for single Christians. Some singles look forward to this time because of the opportunity to be a part of all the festivities or because it means a trip home to welcoming arms and nostalgic Christmas traditions. But for other singles, the holidays can be a stinging reminder of what they don’t have- a family waiting for them to come home, a significant other playing in the snow with them, children expectantly setting up cookies and milk for Santa. For these singles, the Christmas season can accentuate unmet desires and initiate the ache of loneliness, the sting of envy, and the choking hold of bitterness.

For many singles, that unmet desire is a marriage relationship. When we desire marriage, we desire a good thing. But, as I mentioned in my last blog, singles are not incomplete and singleness is not a condition that needs to be fixed. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes, “An unmarried man [and later mentions the woman] is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. But a married man [and woman] is concerned about how the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife [or husband]- and his interests are divided. . . I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7: 33-34a, 35). This is a unique time that the Lord has given us when we are not pouring time into marriage relationships or raising children, but can instead giving undivided devotion to the Lord. Let me be clear: neither marriage nor singleness is better than the other. The Lord uses both to exhibit his love to the world.

Neither marriage nor singleness is better than the other. The Lord uses both to exhibit his love to the world. Click To Tweet

But how do we can we, as singles, engage others during the season of Christmas?

1. Remember that Christmas is about Him, not us.

In our world today, Christmas can become me-centered easily. We want the perfect gifts, the perfect romantic relationship, and the picture-perfect Christmas morning.  But the most beautiful thing about Christmas isn’t the gifts or the decorations, but the realization that Christ, the Lord, emptied himself. The King of the Universe stepped into time and became a man, and not just any man, but a servant (see Philippians 2). After living a fully obedient life, he died a horrendous death that paid the punishment for our sins and rose again defeating death. This story invites us as singles to be reconciled to God for eternity into a relationship in which we are truly and deeply loved just as we are, yet also beckoned to become that which we were created to be so that we shine like stars for his glory. Christ’s sacrifice also invites us to be reconciled to our brothers and sisters, the community of faith. We celebrate the creation of a new family through Christ, one in which we are joined by the Spirit of Christ. When we recognize these truths about Christ, our holiday season becomes much more about Him and much less about us.

2. Look for ways to pour into other singles.

Look for times during the Christmas season when you can invite other singles into your home. Don’t have a huge house? Invite only one or two others. Sharing your house with roommates? See if you can throw a Christmas party together and meet new friends. Seek out creative ways to invest in some younger singles around you.

Be intentional to reach out to both singles at your church and singles who don’t know Christ. Want to go to that Christmas activity and don’t want to go alone? Invite a couple of singles to go with you. As you go, recognize the season as an opportunity to share your faith with other singles. Don’t pretend like everything is great if it’s not. Be honest about your struggles as a single, but don’t stop there. Boldly proclaim the One who sustains you in your singleness and who gives you purpose and a family.

3. Look for ways to invest in families.

Don’t rob yourself of the blessing of being around married men and women and don’t rob them of the gift of being around singles. Invite a couple without children over for dinner and that holiday movie you’ve been dying to watch. Look for intentional ways to help parents this Christmas. Offer to watch their kids while they Christmas shop or invite the whole family over to bake Christmas cookies with you. Want to go Christmas caroling but can’t go alone? Ask a couple of families to join you.

Singles, this Christmas, don’t rob yourself of the blessing of being around married men and women, and don’t rob them of the gift of being around singles. Click To Tweet

Again, don’t limit this to relationships inside your church. Use this season to love on families outside the church. Take Christmas gifts to a neighborhood family struggling financially. Invite families to attend the children’s activities at the church with you. Ask couples into your home and tell them the story of Christmas.

Take advantage of the Christmas season as an opportunity to share about the hope inside you. Demonstrate the love of Christ to both singles and families. Don’t let your singleness hinder you from being a light to a dark world for the glory of God.

Anna D. Contributor
SEBTS PhD student
Anna is a PhD student at Southeastern Seminary in Applied Theology. She is interested in cross cultural studies and the arts as well as creative methods for theological education. She currently works for SEBTS’ Global Theological Initiatives Department. When not studying, she loves being outside or in a coffee shop with a friend.
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2 Comments

  1. Most of the time we think about families ministering to singles. I like how you turned some that around. Singles have a unique opportunity to bless families. Singles are able to minister to families in ways that families cannot minister to other families. For example, a single person who offers to watch children for a couple cannot have that favor returned. It is an opportunity to truly give sacrificially. It reminds me of Luke 14:13–14: “But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” Not saying that families are any of those things specifically, but the situation is that the family cannot pay a single person back in a similar way.

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